There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Randomize
