the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
