What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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