he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
