i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
sex in a hospital.. check
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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