I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
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