dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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