ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
