She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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