She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Too much gin, very little bucket
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
