She is in my trunk
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
