Having a random hookup so left but love u
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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