I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm passing your future prison.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
