My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
