gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
