Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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