My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
