paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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