we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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