Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
