I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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