I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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