Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
