he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
