Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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