So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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