is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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