While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
there is puke in my bra ... again
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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