I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
