I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
