"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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