I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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