It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
