"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
