That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
