Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
