Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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