i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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