So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize