similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
