I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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