I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
