Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I party with great urgency now.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
