my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
my poor anus
Randomize
