I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
The adults are the big ones right?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
