Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
