Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
