you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
