He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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