You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
